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taking him to get a manicure and giving him tickets to "Hairspray! The Musical".  "Wow, that was easy" Sir Sniper says, "But what was the whole point of that? I forget." Sir Barry, in all his glory, explains what's next:

... "Bloody Hell!  That hurts when I get an idea", whimpers Sir Enabler with smoke still pouring out of his ears.  "Okay, here's what we do."  Let's drag his head by his scales onto one of our shields and we'll carry him back.  All the Sirs will have to help."  So the Sirs pull on the Red Dragon's head, except for Sir Barry who is taking a leak, and drag it onto Sir Barry's shield.  "Hey.  Why on my shield?  I just polished it this morning," shouts Sir Barry.  "You'll get it all bloody!"

"Dude, you were taking a leak when the rest of us were working.  And by the way, it helps to take your armor off before peeing."  "That disgusting", observes Lady Paula.  And all the sirs and ladies look at Sir Barry with a mixture of curiosity and disgust as he shakes his leg to get the last of the urine to drain out.  "Yeah, that does burn a bit", says Sir Barry.  "I couldn't figure out how to get my codpiece off in time.  Okay, I'm good to go.  And you guys owe me a shield wash when we return."  "Yes, Sir Barry", sigh the Dragonslayers.

"I gotta go poo", says Sir Sniper.  "But I don't know how to get these metal pants off."

The Dragon slayers roll their eyes, but then realize that since they all magically appeared in armor, they haven't got a clue how to take their armor off and no one has had to go poo yet.  Sir Snipers eyes were begging to bug out.  "I can't hold it much longer.  I need some help."

Just before Sir Sniper blew, ...

... speak!  "You thought by cutting off my head you'd killed me?  I am the Red Dragon and I don't die so easily." 

The Dragonslayers let out a gasp and the Sirs almost dropped the dragon's mighty head!  The Sirs swore profanely as they struggled to balance Sir Barry's shield.  But being covered with gore, the Red Dragon's head slide back and forth and threatened to slide off.  The buxom Ladies fainted, but there was no Sir to assist them.  So there they stood, the Sirs desperately holding onto the shield, the blood running down their arms into their armor, down their torsos and then down their legs to flow onto the ground.  "This is gross!", said the Sirs.

And there they lay, the Ladies passed out from the shock.  Finally, Lady Paula cracked an eye and exclaimed, "How does a lady get an assist around here?  What's wrong with the knights these days?  They can't even be bothered with assisting a fainting lady!  Humph!"  And she began to sob.  Lady Dori, awakened by Lady Paula's crying, said, "What's the fuss about?  Sir Barry, this is your fault.  Do something about it!"

"But Lady Dori, as you can see, I'm up to my ass, or rather, down to my ass in dragon blood.  I'm rather busy here.  What would you suggest?"

"Help us up!", exclaimed the Ladies.  "What's more important?  That (literally) bloody dragon head or us?"  And Lady Dori joined Lady Paula in crying.

The Knights looked at each other thoughtfully, and dropped the shield with the dragon's head.

"Hey... that hurt", shouted the Red Dragon.  "Bite me!", replied Sir Enabler.  "We've got buxom Ladies to attend to."

"You don't know the full extent of my power", said the Red Dragon.  "If you don't pay attention to me, I'll turn you all into toads."  And the Red Dragon began an incantation in an ancient language.  As he chanted, the Knights began to feel their armor a little less snug around their massively muscled bodies. 

"We're shrinking," shouted Sir Sniper.  "What's happening?"

The Ladies gasped.  Then Lady Dori exclaimed, "You're beginning to turn...

The Black Knight, Sir Mold, who having just fallen through the rabbit hole, is still dazed and confused about what is happening before his eyes.  Quickly scanning the scene, taking in as much as the 30 seconds will permit his brain to absorb, he turns to the crowd of reptillians and begins his own encantation.  Mustering his best memories of ancient magic, he finishes the mysterious phrases and the group find themselves inside of their armor (or ladies' gowns as the case were) back to their muscular/buxom statures. 

Turning his attentions to the floundering head of the Red Dragon, he reaches into his Laptop's backpack, and retrieves a roll of black tape and, of course, a pair of old socks and some crusts from some old pizzas.  Wrapping them all together, he quickly stuffs them into the dragon's mouth and deftly tapes the dragon's jaws tightly around the package.  Muffled and a bit confused himself, the dragon begins to struggle against the constraint, but with his head so far from his body, he has no recourse and lays his head mutely on the ground.

With that, the Black Knight turns and whistles, and out from no where, his Brandy stead "Harley" appears thundering towards the crowd.  Sir Mold jumps on his Harley and as they spin in the dust, he raises his fist into the air and shouts...

I'd enjoy the company, I believe I'll come along and see where this adventure leads."  That said, his Harley comes back to all fours and let's the Black Knight down.  The Harley runs off towards the wind and disappears.  The Black Knight wanders amidst the crowd introducing himself and aquainting himself with their stories and sharing his.  It seems that the Black Knight has entered this realm from a similar though disparate universe, through a rabbit hole of his own. 

With the introductions finished, the troupe wends their way back to share their story with the people of the land.  However, soon there caravan is stopped by ...

marches into the cemetary until he sees a grave with Lady Paula's name engraved on it. Upon further inspection he knoticed several other graves each one had an individuals name on it. Suddeny the earth began to shake and the graves began to open, unable to stand any more Sniper turned around and ran back to the rest of the group leaving a wet trail of urine. Unable to speak he pointed and they followed the trail and they discovered ...

The Black Knight returns fromt he shanty, hurrying to the calls from his commrades.  At the sight of the Zombies, he stops at the broken down porch and reaches into his Laptop bag and pulls from it an ancient looking encircled by metal banding and locks.  Reaching into his Armored vest, he removes a key and opens the bands releasing the book from it's bonds.  The book spins and begins to glow, opens itself and hovers in front of the Black Knight. 

During this spectacle, several of the zombies begin to approach Blackie, their rotting jowls dripping from the anticipation of the fresh flesh.  Reaching to his scabbard, he withdraws his obviously unused broad sword and brandishes it towards the oncoming Zombies.  The book follows almost obediently.  Trying to fend off the onslaught and read from the open book at the same time, The Black Knight begins an encantation from the pages in front of him. 

As the last word parts his lips, darkened clouds begin to form and start circling above the Dragonslayers heads. Each rotation gathers more clouds and obviously more power.  As critical mass gets closer, electrical streamers begin to hit the ground around them.  Just as suddenly as it began, there is a FLASH of light from the clouds and each of the open graves opens, reclaiming it's previous enhabitant, and the storm clears leaving the surrounding grounds as pristine as when the group had arrived. 

The ancient book, now finished with its purposes, closes itself and falls to the ground as the metal bands close themselves around the book and the latches clasp shut.  The Black Knight reaches down, retrieving the book and replacing it into his Laptop bag. 

I don't know what this place is, but I feel that we should think about leaving quickly.  The concurrant knodding of their heads is signal enough, and the group gathers near the center of the graveyard and ...

vanishes as quickly as he appeared. The Dragonslayers turn their attention to Sir TNO and his taxi. Sir Barry says, "Kind sir, would you be most gracious to allow us to join you in your taxi? We need a ride to the castle and it's too far to walk with ladies present plus we have a rather large Red Dragon head to deliver that we could put in the trunk. What say ye, kind sir?" "Ah, what the heck, ya fecking poachers, hop in," says Sir TNO. They race off to the castle where the king is there to greet them. The Dragonslayers present the head to the king and the king, in turn, presents the Dragonslayers with their reward, 500,000 pieces and the deed to Castle Tranquility. Sir Sniper yells, "Party Time!" The Dragonslayers invite Sir TNO to accompany them to the castle party and he graciously accepts provided that there will be Playboy bunnies and a pool there. Sir Barry assures him that they will pay for a reasonable facsimile as there were no Playboy bunnies in Medieval times but promised to hire to some fetching wenches. There were no taxis either, but we'll ignore that point since it provided a nice segue to the castle. As the party begins...

right then, Blackie casts a spell that leaves the rabbit floating in the air. He calmly walks over, grabs the rabbit out of the air and stuffs it in his laptop bag. "We might need this little guy later, " he says, "but for now it's PARTY TIME! Where's the grog and the serving wenches?" He looks around and sees Lady Dori getting fanned and someone peeling grapes for her. Lady Paula has a six pack of handsome, muscular men fawning over her. Sir Barry and Sir Enabler are drinking and talking, each with a lady on each arm. Sir Sniper is smoking some weed he found growing near the castle and laughing. Everyone is having a good time when...

... summons his three favorite guards.  With swords drawn, they apprehend TNO (the serf mistaken for a knight) and start to drag him off.  At about this moment, the dragon's head, hung ceremoniously in the center of the ballroom, begins to sputter and open it's mouth.  Within an instant, the Dragonslayers (well, all that is save TNO (the serf mistaken for a knight)) are surrounding the head, swords drawn, circling and looking for the precise spot to put this story to an end.  With a wave of his empty hand, Blackie summons the Magic book from his Laptop bag.  Upon exiting, it draws the rabbit and the bunny girl with it.  As the book, obeying Blackie's commands, hovers and the crowd continues to circle the head, the King, surveying the situation and realizing what all has been involved, thinks better of his command and with a wave of his hand TNO (the serf mistaken for a knight) is released and the guards return to the King's side.  The King, still amazed by the spectacle before him, raises his chalice and chortles "OK, my mistake... ON WITH THE PARTY."  Just for good measure, Blackie flips through the book and finds the two encantations that please him.  Whispering the first to  himself, there arises a small whirlwind which encircles the King's daughter and leaves her dry and reclad in a new evening gown (slightly more appropriate for the century from which our Dragonslayers hearld, but none the less beautiful), which both relieves the King and pleases him very much (not to mention the Dragonslayers who have turned their attentions to the newly adorned maiden).  And finally raising his voice a bit, Blackie reads the remaining necromancy from the book.  As the last word parts his lips, a bolt of lightening arcs its way from the sky to the area immediatly surrounding the dragon's head.  After a few seconds, the head is encased in several layers of "Buckypaper" (hey, what did you expect, we are, after all NERDS).  Blackie turns to the crowd who are still wondering why he didn't just finish him off and answering the unasked questions says "well, as persistent as he is, we may be able to use him at some point."  Quickly flipping to the last page of the book, Blackie mutters a few more lines and the rabbit, the bunny girl and the dragon's head are all miniaturized and sucked into the last pages of the book, which subsequently closes and reclasps itself and tucks back into the Laptop bag. 

"Well, what are you all waiting for," shouts Blackie, "you heard the king, let's parteeeeee!!!"   As the party resumes...

Enabler is about to enjoy his first bite when his neighbor moans and collapses. Enabler asks, "Did you wash your hands?" "No. was replied, when a poopy monster poped from his stomach. Everyone around the table stood up and backed away while the poopy monster began to do a jig. While the jig continued people snuck up on the body and closed the hole so they could remove it safely. As soon as the body was removed the poopy monster began to return to return to his seat to not find a home. Frustrated it  became raged and began to grow to full size and demanded answers. To scared, and the horrible smell, to do anything veryone from the table had passed out. A bright light from the bathroom reviled ...

...she has a daydream about 2 girls 1 cup. Her mood changes from mesmerized to disgusted. She brushes off the thought and opens the door to the bathroom when...

The dragonslayers gather in the center of the ballroom, form a circle, and facing out from the circle, draw their swords and begin slicing each poopy monster as it faces them.  But it soon become apparent that this is not the best aproach, as 10 poopies soon become 20, which quickly become 40 then 80, and with the geometric increase, their swords are slashing faster than any of the dragonslayers can keep up for very much longer.  Lady Paula shouts at Blackie, "isn't there anything in that %@#% book of yours that would help? 

Blackie mutters some words and the book flies out from his laptop bag and hovers in front of him.  As the book flips through the pages a large golden Question Mark appears above the book, and it begins to page through from the beginning again.  After a few well chosen words, Blackie backs away and lets his sword continue on as he thumbs through the book on his own.  On the third pass, a devilish grin comes to his face and he whipers to the book a reminder of some times gone by.  The book closes and binds itself, and like a shooting star, vanishes intot he cosmos.  "Hold on all, I've sent the book on a mission, we're on our own for a little bit."  And with that said, he raises his arms into the air and with some appropriately chosen words, parts of the castle's battlement tears itself from the surrounding and reassembles itself between the dragonslayers.  Blackie shouts to the crowd to hop onto the escarpment and again he raises his arms and the dragonslayers quickly find themselves hovering on the rampart a 100 feet above the Poopy Monsters.  A few more ancient words and a rain cloud appears above the group.  Several minutes later, and after several minutes of rain, the clouds dissappear and the wind begins to blow a bit warm but gently.  With the crowd clean, warm, dry and happy again, Blackie commands thousands more stones from the surrounding countryside to join the new fortification and they have a new dancefloor high above the angry Poopy Monsters.  The band is raised to join the group, as are the remaining party goers, and the entertainment begins anew a hundred feet or so above the old castle. 

With the crowd safe, and the party going again, Blackie retreats to a secluded part of the bastian and begins to chant, recalling his far away friend from its task.  Several minutes go by and the book finally returns, as it left, shooting into Blackie's corner of the dancefloor.  The book opens itself and the pages fly to a new entry recently scribed in the back of the book.  Blackie looks at the page, but doesn't recognize the words.  Blackie begins the tedious process of sounding out the words, for each encantation must have the proper pronunciation and inflection to work correctly.  This process is familiar to Blackie, being the method he has learned to use the book from the time it came to him from his father.  Each mispronunciation is met with a quick, small but effective electric jolt (yes, a lightening bolt of sorts) from the book.  An effective, but sometimes painful method of ensuring that the book not fall into the hands of just anyone.  Only serious students of the magic arts ever learn more than a couple invocations before the process beats them down - but that is a story for another time.  The book is anxious for Blackie to get this one, for as it explains to Blackie (highlighted textual communication is slow but effective), upon arriving at its progenitor's place of service, it found a gathering of the older books.  They had all agreed on the solution and Blackie's book couldn't wait to see just how it turned out.

Several exasperated attempts later, a somewhat charred Blackie finally gets the articulations and diction correct, and below them, the crowd sees the finest porcelein assembling itself into the finest "Throne" that any of them as ever seen.  Inlaid golden artwork gleams in the sunlight, and the mesmerized Poopy Monsters turn in unison and bow to the spectacle before them. 

The Poopy Monsters begin to crowd near the front of the "Throne" and seem undaunted by the growing hygienic winds around them.  One by one, the Poopy Monsters are ...

Blackie unwaves his arms and repeats the incantation backwards.  The stones replace themselves into the surround countryside, and the rampart slowly lowers the party goers to the castle floor.  As the touch down and climb off, the castle parts replace themselves and all is as it was just prior to the Poopy Invasion (except of course, that they partiers are a bit more tipsy).  

As the wee hours of the morning begin to unfold to the group, they begin to...

I think we need to rename this topic to finish the paragraph or maybe even finish the short story....LOL  You are all quite creative.