InsideTech

Since you guys are so into love, I thought it would be nice if we would all share tips to making a relationship work or to picking up that hot chick at the bar. 

Guys, the perfect pickup line: "Hi, my name is _____."  That will win a girl over faster than "Are your parents retarded? Cause dang you're special!"

Girls, we always expect men to be romantic, to do nice things for us, like flowers and poems.  Well, we need to return the favor! Show that man how much you care with a little love note in his lunch box, or a nice back rub! Quid pro quo!

So, who has some suggestions?

MustangBarry's Pick Up Line #2

"Does God know you fell out of heaven?"

 Don't have chat up lines but my most successful pick up in terms of time from speaking to ending up in bed, ten minutes, was when I couldn't take my eyes off a girl in a club and finally drank enough to get the courage to talk to her.  In fairness I think she did most of the picking up.  It went like this:

[Acciderntally on purpose squeeze beside her at the bar to get her attention]

Me: Hi, are you having a good evening?

Fiona: I am now. [smilling]

Me: Me too. [laughing]

Fiona: Where are you from?

Me: Here, I only live round the corner.

Fiona: Round the corner sounds handy for a coffee.

Me: Except I have a typical student fridge, nothing but beer and cheese, so I hope you like it black.

Fiona: I'm not that bothered about the coffee but I'd love to see what a student fridge looks like.

Me: Well you can come see it now if you like, unless you'd like to get another drink

Fiona: You have a fridge full of beer, lets go.

I think for blokes you just have to break the ice and if the girl is interested she'll help you as they know what hopeless cases we are.

My advice on relationships would be:

• be with someone because you love them


• don't act like two individuals leading separate lives and sharing a common space, you're a team and need to act like one


• enbrace each others family and friends


• if your partner makes an unreasonable demand don't knuckle under for an easy life it'll eat away at you


• don't complain about every little thing or dig at something that you'd give a friend a free pass on


• and if you are in the situation "When one isn't giving. And one pretends to receive" it is not a relationship it's being taken for a ride


• and when you no longer laugh and joke together or have fun it has stopped being a relationship and its time to move on.

I don't use pick up lines either (I usually start fumbling all over my words anyway). I usually just fall into a relationship. But Nuclear's tips are accurate.

Don't worry Barry, I know your posts like mine are often for the entertainment value

To give some balance to my shortest time between talk and tumble my longest time between falling for someone and our being physical was 19 years !!!! But then some things are really worth waiting for, like a fine wine.

Men are generally reasoning and logical creatures that have a knack for finding solutions to problems. ( Some  more than ohers, albeit. ) However, when your woman comes to you with a problem, resist the temptation to offer a solution, even though you are just trying to help because this is not what she is looking for, unless she comes right out and asks for one. Otherwise, listen to her problem and show empathy, rephrasing what she is telling you to let her know that you understand what she is going through. She wants you to know how she feels and that you would probably feel the same way in the same situation. She really just wants you to understand and accept her feelings, not offer a solution.  

 You need to find a new mate, Barry! 

 Oh, Barry, how can I make it up to you?  You may punish me how you wish. 

 I realize the harm I have done and am groveling at your feet. <<grovel, grovel>>

Oh, no, not the little schoolgirl routine, how cruel...but if I must. (quickly puts on outfit and prances over the the school)

This is just fun and games, Damn. I thought it was reality!

Dammit, Curtis, now you ruined the moment! Please do not wake up my hypnotized subjects. Now Beth, watch the watch, back and forth, watch the watch, back and forth, you're getting sleepier now, back and forth, now you're falling into a deep, deep sleep, back and forth, you will now do exactly as I say...

What will I have you do? Buwhahahahaha. ( An evil grin crosses DingleBarry's face ) Slip your wrists into these retraints. Now I will put your ankles in these restraints. I will put this red ball gag in your mouth and blindfold you. On the count of three, you will awaken terrified. One, two, three...

THIS IS YOUR LIFE! "Hello dear, is your homework done?" Do you recognize that voice? Yes, it's your third grade English teacher, Miss Johnson! Come on in Miss Johnson, careful with your walker. What do remember the most about Lady Beth? "Well, she always wore pink and dressed like a princess. We thought it was kind of weird but she got good grades so we let it slide." Thank you for coming, Miss Johnson. Stay tuned, folks, we have more people from Lady Beth's past coming up. Same lady time, same lady channel. Goodnight!

Awwww, too bad, she's already gone. But wait, we have someone you're sure to recognize. "Giggady, giggady." Do you remember that voice? It's your old high school sweetheart Dick Guzinya! "Hi Beth, boy, this reminds me of out first date! Giggady, giggady." And now a word from our local sponsor.

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That's it for tonight folks. Tune in tomorrow when Lady Beth meets another voice from the past. How will she react this time? Tune in to see! Bye now!

Welcome back, folks! We've had Lady Beth bound and gagged for 3 days now! Doesn't she look terrible? Ha ha ha. "Duh, hi Beth?" Do you remeber that voice Beth? It's your high school prom date, Bubba Johnson! The defensive linebacker for your football team! "Beth, which cheerleader were you?" Ok, big guy, stage left. No! Don't tackle that cameraman! ( Crash, boom, bang, tinckle. ) Ok, nobody's hurt (much), tune in again tomorrow for another episode of "THIS IS YOUR LIFE!"