General Forums >> Water Cooler >> Famous Funny Quotes
Famous Funny Quotes
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Posted 3 months ago I know everyone likes funny quotes.......so I thought, let's hear your most appreciated famous funny quotes. |
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| Posted 3 months ago "Half the lies they tell about me aren't true." Yogi Berra |
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| Posted 3 months ago "and don't call me Shirley" |
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| Posted 3 months ago Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Mae West |
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| Posted 3 months ago You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic enough worrying about what's happening now. Lauren Bacall |
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| Posted 3 months ago Is that a pencil in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? Mae West Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Mae West Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better. Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
Mae West Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
Mae West Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.
Mae West Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago More Quotes From Mae West : Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.
I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.
I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.
I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.
I've been in more laps than a napkin.
I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going while you've still got them.
I speak two languages, Body and English.
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.
I've been things and seen places.
Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago Sorry, folks, got on a roll there. Gotta love her. Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago how about Yogi Berra: "A Nickel ain't worth a dime anymore." "Baseball is 90% mental, and the other half physical." "Congratulations, I knew the record would stand until it was broken." "Even Napolean had his Watergate." "Half the lies they tell about me aren't true." "If you come to a fork in the road, take it." "It's like Deja-Vu all over again." "Little league baseball is very good, it keeps the parents off the streets." "Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded." "The future ain't what it used to be." "You wouldn't have won, if we'd have beaten you." "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there." |
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| Posted 3 months ago If a person wants to be atheistic, it's his God-given right to be an atheist. (kind of a conundrum)
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| Posted 3 months ago Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W.C. Fields |
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| Posted 3 months ago "I don't know what's better gettin' laid or gettin' paid." ----------Kanye West |
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| Posted 3 months ago "It's a fine line between creative and..stupid" David St. Hubbins |
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| Posted 3 months ago My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
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| Posted 3 months ago "I do not fear computers, I fear the lack of them." - Isaac Asimov "Never trust a computer that you can't throw out a window." - Steve Wozniak |
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| Posted 3 months ago Shoot, now I know why I could never get an office by the window! |
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| Posted 3 months ago Roni, I'm going to put that down in my book of quotes... if you don't mind... LOL
"If I had only known, I'd have become a locksmith." - Albert Einstein "Truth is what stands the test of experience." - Albert Einstein |
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| Posted 3 months ago Funny Quotes From Will Rogers : The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back! Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth. You can't say civilization isn't advancing; in every war they kill you in a new way. There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. Unleash Your Mustang Side! |
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| Posted 3 months ago "A government that robs Peter to pay Paul, can always count on the support of Paul." - George Bernard Shaw "A word to the wise ain't worth necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." - Bill Cosby "Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry." - Bill Cosby "Between two evils, I always choose the one I've never tried before." - Mae West "Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." - Mark Twain "He taught me housekeeping, when I divorce, I keep the house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor |
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| Posted 3 months ago "they give you cash which is just as good as money!" Yogi Berra in the Aflac commercial |
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| Posted 3 months ago I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Groucho Marx. |
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| Posted 3 months ago A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. Bill Cosby |
