InsideTech

Very odd but also Barry would notice all the people that are talking behind his back watching him sweat during the ceremony.

I have it all figured out. I'll just wear my clothes like my back is my front and walk backwards. No one will ever know! The only problem is that when a cool breeze blows, it looks like I have a load in my pants...

Either one, it doesn't take much. I have to make sure it doesn't go on too long or it will look like I have a tail.

Well, to be honest, no. I have to admit that there were several others. But that is all in the past.

No, no, no cheating, been there done that, learned my lesson, won't happen again. Besides, why go out for hamburger when I can have steak at home? ; )

Not a pretty sight, scales and fur flying everywhere, they both look like they fell into a wood chipper.

Or, in this case, hairy leg and paw hanging from the side of a rather long scaly jaw that has been partially displaced from the rest of the suitcase on legs.   Eeeeewwwwww!!!

Ok, back to the format people, remember start your question with "Dear MustangBarry" and end it with something like "Sleepless in Seattle" or whatever.

Oh no  Mitch, now you have done it, now he is going to start coming up with forums like "If I were an alligator what would I do first?" or other crazy topics.

Dear Drying Up Quickly,

Have you considered moisturizers? I hear that Vaseline Intensive Care is very good for that condition. Oh wait...you mean your stompng grounds are drying up, I knew that! Well, the obvious solution would be to find new stomping grounds. The next obvious solution would be to substitute something else for "stomping grounds". Here's some novel ideas. 1) Dress up like a mime, go to a busy intersection at lunch time and hit on women without speaking. 2) Go to the grocery store and ask a pretty lady where the toast aisle is. She'll automatically know you are a bachelor by your question ; ). 3) Go to a women's rights meeting and speak up for women's rights. 4) Get a puppy and go to the park or the beach. And 5) Walk down a busy street with money sticking out of all your pockets. If you try all these ideas, then you are bound to find a date!

Freelancing in Fort Lauderdale,

MustangBarry

 I could be completely offended, but I'm laughing too hard!

#1 I would get a cop. (Without speaking what is he going to do? Grab my ass?)

#2 I would wonder if the guy was mentally challenged not single,

#3 We would all know why you are at a women only meeting, puhleeze! <<rolls eyes>>,

#4 This one might possibly work unless the woman is allergic to dogs or doesn't want to deal with a dog humping her leg 

#5 Not all of us are money, grubbing, material girls.

hahaha Beth if you want a cop, I can loan you mine!

Nah, kind of creepy.  In the south the men say, "Hey, hot mama.  How bout an RC Cola and a Moon Pie? I'd like you to be my baby mama."

Hey, all.  These are nice, but I'm thinking more in lines of after the hook is set and the reeling has been done.  Needing some new fresh ideas for getting the fish out of the boat from time to time.  (So to speak)

That's what you get for being out of the loop, missy. Let that be a lesson to you. Please don't abandon your little ones here at Inside Tech because we are lost without you. See what happens when we are left to fend for ourselves? Utter chaos! ( Isn't that a lactose intolerant cow? ) No, wait, that's Udder chaos...