InsideTech

Dear Sex God MustangBarry,

I've been with my man for over a year now.  How do I get a ring without poking holes in the prophylactics?

Thanks,

Troubled in Tennessee

Dear Mustangbarry:

How can I get my man to admit to all that he is my man?

Quizical in Kentucky

Maybe he is holding out on his.....( Others may give advice as well. ) clause. lol

Dear Troubled in Tennesee

You know that gun you have? Well, put it to his head and give him an ultimatim. I'm sure he will see it your way!

MustangBarry Armed and Dangerous

Dear Mustangbarry with the body of a Greek God who should have his own statue in the Parthenon,

I am a cat person, always have been.  I love Niddles.  Jonathan, as well, is a cat person, and Niddles was originally his before I adopted him (now, technically a she, since I had the nuts removed (from the cat, I mean)).  I have always wanted a Boxer.  My neighbor has one, and I get to pet her on occasion (the dog, of course) but I want one of my own.  I love the loyalty of a dog, the playfullness, and they are such beautiful critters.  Jonathan's not a dog person.  He said that we could get a dog, but I can see he's not too excited about it.  It makes me sad, cause I want a dog, but I don't want to do that to Jonathan, especially since he stopped riding bikes cause of my fear of him smearing himself across the highway.  Any suggestions?

The Girl Who Couldn't Cry Wolf! in Tennessee

Dear Girl Who Couldn't Cry Wolf in Tennessee,

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you but I've been researching your question by playing with my big puppy. Girl, everybody knows that a dog is man's best friend. There's a reason for that but don't ask me. Just do what my ex did to me when I didn't want a dog. She just got one anyway and came up with a story about how she found it in the rain, eating from a trash can and shivering. Then to top it off, she even ran an ad in the paper to find the owner (which didn't exist) to back up her story. It worked. Even after just one day with the dog, you can't help but get attached to it, so I caved...

Dear Wannabe Dog Owner in Tennessee,

Ok, then just tell him you're puppy sitting for a couple of days until your friend gets home and then you're giving it back. At the end of a couple of days, inform him that your friend has too many puppies and you can keep it. Believe me, he will get attached to it and there will be a very high probability that he will let you keep it. You gotta love a Boxer pup, how can he say no to you and the dog! Don't worry, he'll cave.

Caving in Florida,

MustangBarry

Dear Barry,

I counted a couple of typos in that statement. 

Love,

Paula in Tennessee

(sorry, couldn't resist) :)

No way! I'm just trying to gain more support for the site. We all have fun here and others can too! The number of views per posts is a little lopsided. I don't know what holds people back from posting but I hoped to encourage them to do so. As a matter of fact, why don't you join me in this rally. When you greet newcomers, encourage them to post. When someone does post, give them a pat on the back, so to speak, by appreciating their comment. Granted, it's not much of a plan but it is a start. Newcomers do not really know where to start, literally. They know that this is a social networking site but not quite sure what that means exactly. I would just like to see us take a little time with the newcomers and give them tips on how to navigate the site and most importantly, where we are currently posting. You know we change around to different groups a lot but all the activity on the site seems to be with us. So let newcomers know this when we greet them. Especially, Phreadd, Enabler, Mz Dori and I, we are the ones that have been doing the most greeting. So, I'm just saying (to quote my beloved Paula) it's something to keep in mind. The more effort we put into making this site better, then the better it will become, to everyone's benefit!

Fini

mustangbarry says ...

No way! I'm just trying to gain more support for the site. We all have fun here and others can too! The number of views per posts is a little lopsided. I don't know what holds people back from posting but I hoped to encourage them to do so. As a matter of fact, why don't you join me in this rally. When you greet newcomers, encourage them to post. When someone does post, give them a pat on the back, so to speak, by appreciating their comment. Granted, it's not much of a plan but it is a start. Newcomers do not really know where to start, literally. They know that this is a social networking site but not quite sure what that means exactly. I would just like to see us take a little time with the newcomers and give them tips on how to navigate the site and most importantly, where we are currently posting. You know we change around to different groups a lot but all the activity on the site seems to be with us. So let newcomers know this when we greet them. Especially, Phreadd, Enabler, Mz Dori and I, we are the ones that have been doing the most greeting. So, I'm just saying (to quote my beloved Paula) it's something to keep in mind. The more effort we put into making this site better, then the better it will become, to everyone's benefit!

Fini

Sounds like a plan, Barry.  I will execute per your instructions.

Enabler, BS in Psycho

Dear Love Problem solver Mustangbarry,

My love problem is that I don’t have a love problem. My spouse is an angel. She is everything a man wants in a woman. She is either flawless or I’m partially blind. To make matters worse, she is the “turn the other cheek” kind of person. I’ve tried everything within the book (what book?) to create some problems, all to no avail. This is where you come in Mustangbarry. Can you help me get into some problems with her please?

Loving problems in Nigeria.

Cyril, I'm stepping in on this one:

Sit down and religiously watch and learn from ever episode of all seasons of "Married With Children." Emulate Al Bundy.  Watch your perfect wife evolve a few shades shy of said perfection.

Love,

Paula

 Dear MustangBarry Genius Love Problem Solver

I have a friend of a friend who keeps dating pyschos.  What advice should I give him so that he does not continue to repeat this mistake?

Corporeal in Cumbria

You're welcome, Cyril.  We're glad we could help.  A woman that keeps you guessing is a much more interesting woman.

Barry, my friend, Nuclear has severe women problems and could use your advice.  Stop forward and bestow your wisdom and blessing on his poor abject soul!

Words for the wise, Brother Barry.

Nuclear, go forth and find true love.  And may you find the right one, settle down, and have a batch of nuclear children.  I hear the Rocky theme song in my head all of a sudden.  It's positively inspiring and even exultant.