InsideTech

What is your experience?

Dori is right.

SEX is just a craving need for most of the people who don't bother about the other person or emotions. It's almost like a one way traffic.  Wham bam, thank  you ma'am stuff.

But if it's between two loving persons, it is an entirely different ballgame altogether. Of course, although the age old adage says that "Love at first sight", we still need to make friends with that person and it can be followed by sex (mutual consent of course).

Oops, I was boring, was I?

My own personal experience based on two marriages is casual sex can lead to friendship, which leads to better sex, which leads to living together, and then finally marriage.  First time around the marriage was aweful because our friendship was superficial.  The second time we truly were friends and have no been married for 21 years.

I guess in general I'm in the friends first camp, though a little casual sex before hand can ensure some degree of compatability before the "living in sin" stage.

Friends first. I'm not just getting older, I'm getting wiser. I gotta lot to give and I'm not just gonna whore it out anymore.

tlwalters says ...

I agree with both of you. 

However I fell in love with my husband after we "did the do", and became best friends, then lived in sin together, then we married after a 5 year engagement.  I know weird scenario but true. 

Not weird at all.  However, it only took me a 6 month engagement to decide that this was the man I wanted to wake up beside every morning.

both but since my gf and i havent together for 2 1/2 years theres no more of this situation 4 me

oops, typo. we have been together for 2 1/2 years im not in that situation anymore

thanks.

My order is: friends first, Marriage next, then sex. I'm a bit old fashioned I guess.

Like Cyril, I used to be rather old fashioned regarding this issue.  However, I find that the best method (at least for me) is both together.  My best relationship, we met went our separate ways for the day and got together that night to finish the meeting phase.  We fell asleep in each other's arms (so technically, I guess one could say that we slept together upon first meeting).  Anyway, the sex part came along with the friendship.  We simply were NOT trying either way.  That is to say, we were not trying to avoid it until it was time, nor were we trying to press it.  In actuality (if my sweetheart doesn't mind) our first was during our first 'real' date.  We went camping, and the night air and campfire were just too much and... well, as they say it is history.  ;)

Consequently, my advice would have to be, let it happen naturally.  Do NOT go into the relationship trying either to seek it, or to avoid it.  Permit life to take it's natural course with your relationship.

Deathrow_Nzl says ...

 Yeah, Normally if its Sex first the relationship ends up being nothing more then another booty call..

 

Thats why the Bar or nightclubs are not always the best places to meet woman

I think you mean to say, Deathrow, that bars are not the best places to meet a woman for a serious relationship.  However, bars are a great place to meet a woman if your expectations are low.  LOL.

Have fun.

Who're you calling old, Pilgrim?  When I'm dead and buried, then I'll be old, not to mention ripe.

"Low expectations".  By that I meant "with no reasonable expectation of a long term, meaningful relationship".  On the other hand (there's always another hand, have you noticed?), by no "reasonable" expectation, I didn't mean to imply that a good solid monogamous relationship couldn't be found in a bar, but that the probability is low, but definitely not zero.

 So I endeavor not to judge, lest I too be judged in turn.  Amen.

By the way, I believe the saying goes...  "You're only as old as the woman you feel..."  :)   Implying, keep her young and the world will obviously be much rosier.

Moldy01 says ...

Empressively good catch enabler...  ;)

Thanks.  I should have been a lawyer.  Now that is a job, short of malfeasance, nonfeasance, misfeasance or gross moral turpitude, that you have for life.

BTW, I did attend law school for a year and a half in 1999-91, but dropped out because I found it boring.  That's the dumbest thing I ever did.  I wanted to return to engineering.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  My sister is an attorney, and she is bored and hates it, but she enjoys the security that comes with the profession.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

That's okay.  I chose what I loved, engineering, over money.  (Stupid, stupid, stupid).

Well, I did love what I was doing, then it went overseas, and then along came the super recession we're in now.  After the dust settles on the recession, I'll be able to determine if I can work until I retire, or I'm retired before I want to stop working.  I know a lot of process engineers in the latter position.  I think (actually, I know) it's time to morph again.