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5 Ways to Combat Loneliness When You're Jobless
Tania Khadder
Sit in front of laptop. Lie on couch. Eat pickles for lunch. Back to laptop.
Feel sorry for self. Feel sick of self. Tear hair out in frustration. And … back to couch.
If this is your 9-to-5 routine, you’re probably like 14 million other Americans: unemployed. And in addition to the frustration of looking for work, you might find yourself feeling a little lonely.
Sure, you chat with friends online all day. And you may have a family or significant other who comes home in the evening. But good old fashioned, face-to-face contact with another human being before dinner? Kind of rare these days.
In running my unemployment blog, I’ve received plenty of emails from readers. And although many of them were lighthearted in nature, a number of them were quite the opposite. One of the saddest read: “You’re the first person I’ve spoken to in days.”
Unemployment can make a recluse out of even the most social of butterflies. After all, you want to spend as much time as possible looking for work. And where do you look for work? Online. And where do you go online? At home.
But spending too much time alone can be detrimental, not just to your emotional well-being, but to your job search too! Staying connected with the rest of the world is not a luxury. It’s a necessity!
Work from a coffee shop.
Find a coffee shop with WiFi in your neighborhood (even better if it’s free WiFi!). Grab your laptop and go. You may not be striking up conversations with fellow coffee shop patrons, but it’s nice to be in the presence of other human beings. It’s also nice to have a change of scenery; one that doesn’t include Oprah on mute and swag from your previous employer.
swmayhew
about 1 month ago
2 comments
This is a great article. I can't stress enough how important my volunteer job has been in keeping me positive. I'm productive, have to get out of the house and am helping a good cause.
I would really like to form a support group in Boulder Co - so if anyone know one that's ongoing, please put up a post!
Account Removed
about 1 month ago
I am a 63 year old woman and have lost my IT job when it was outsourced to India. I have been online everyday for the last three months looking for work. Does anyone really think I will find a job at my age, when most managers in IT departments are in their 30's? I keep looking even for jobs outside of IT. Anything to help pay the mortgage will be fine with me.
stargazer48506
about 1 month ago
2 comments
Ok, I'm looking for work, been told I qualify for "no worker left behind", but I just want to get started in a database or tech job. Am I dreaming, am I being realistic? How do I get my foot in the door?
I stayed up last night very late submitting a resume and cover letter to a Monster job ad, only to find out today through an email I received that it was rejected, no reason given. I went to that company web site there was no listing for that job. So now I get the impression that companies don't remove their listings when a job has been filled. Why doesn't Monster include a notice like "this position has been filled" for employers to post as responses to those who still see the ad and respond?
My pets are driving me crazy and a neighbor thinks my tree plugged up her toilet and caused her to call in the sewer guy. If I could go to sleep at a reasonable time and get up early that would be nice, but I keep screwing up my scedule. At least there is LMN on cable.
Any suggestions for networking for a job please let me know. I'm past bored, maybe catatonic. Something I've found that brings me out of this state is laughter. If I really get into the financial trouble I'll ask cable for the basic basic cable, which is the cheapest they have and don't tell anyone about, they only admit to having it if you ask for it.
monkay1407
about 1 month ago
2 comments
This was a great artcle, with a lot of truth to it that is the reality for many of us. To make matters worse there are those of us who are trying to break into a new field, with minimal to no experience. I am fortunate enough to have a great support team through my great wife, family, and friends, therefore I don't fall into the realm of loneliness. Since I have been laid off I have gotten in the habbit of doing as much as I can online. Lets face it, the internet makes things much more convienent. If we can save money on emailing a resume instead of driving to deliver it in person why not, right? In fact many potential employers only accept online applications. The days of beating on doors to find a job are gone for the most part. I do, however, have a few recommendations. If you are attending school or training or plan to n the near future. Attend in a classroom environment as opposed to taking online courses. It is amazing how much face to face interaction with peoplewho share your career intests can boost your positive psychy! Another thing I would recommend...I am not sureabout other schools, but my organization offers many seminars on different topics. Try finding side projects also. I have done a fewside projects sice being laid off, and this has given me a little extra income along with valuable experience. Best of luck to all of you!!
Lady_Beth
about 1 month ago
30 comments
Great article. I was laid off a couple times a while back and the loneliness and the questions why I was laid off and not other people were the worst feelings. I did eventually get jobs in both cases.
I went back to school a couple years ago and have to find employment every couple of months. What I mean is, while going to school, I've taken 3 different internships. They don't have benefits, but they pay money and I've been able to work full-time while taking classes. The college I'm currently at have a weekend program for adults. Of course the internships end and I have to find another one, but they seem to be plentiful. I'm cheap labor and expendable. :-)
Now hopefully when I'm done next May I can take one of these internships and get hired as a real employee.
ddains
about 1 month ago
2 comments
Very timely article for me, as today I am hitting that cycle of feeling lonely, not a worth-while contributor, tired of bugging friends at work, etc. I also am a Type A personality, and spent tons of time prepping and selling my house. Now I am settled without household projects, and I am going crazy. You are right- I just need to GET OUT of the HOUSE! Talk with PEOPLE LIVE! Thank you!
CSharkBytes
about 1 month ago
18 comments
I don't think it is loneliness that is the worst of it. I don't mind that I am alone when I am alone. I got laid off and so did my spouse. We are in it together. I have the opposite problem. When I was young (I am 52) I stayed home with the kids. I got used to being at home alone when they were in school. My husband on the other hand is going nuts. He paces around the house. He feels useless. We both had long time jobs his was for 27 years. Mine was 11 years. Now nothing. He is type A. He needs to be busy. He calls everyone he knows. He doesn't social network. He hates it. He follows me around like a puppy. He needs people right now. I need a break. He has worked since he was 13 years old. He does not know what to do with himself. Besides the lack of money and worrying about what will happen if we haven't found work when the benefits run out is when do we get our lives back. Things around the house that need fixing but no money and if I had money would not fix because the thought of losing the house hangs over your head. So forget home projects for him. For him it is loneliness and boredom. For me it is that I a here all day with him and no time alone. I hate being unemployed. That is the problem not being lonely.
cab26715
about 1 month ago
40 comments
jh443 - You can get Dial-Up Internet, if you are low on cash. I know it is not as fast as what you probably have right now (cable), but at least it's SOMETHING.
matthew123456789
about 1 month ago
2 comments
recently moved halfway across the country to marry my wife. no job lined up and im in the same boat now during the day. noticed that it is quite difficult getting on a routine/schedule such as waking up early, eating, ect. Library is a great idea to hang out as there will be less distraction. great many fears, hopelessness, and temptations can come knocking on the door times of adversity like these. For me I found hope and life starting here in John 20:30-31
jh443
about 1 month ago
22 comments
I've been out of work so long that all 79 weeks of benefits expired 3 weeks ago. Divorced, no kids, no family within 100 miles, no "IRL" friends, no transportation (other than feet and bus). To say I don't get out much is putting it mildly. The day I have to cancel the internet (which may be by the end of the year), I'll be even more alone.
Yeah, the recession may be on its way out, but it'll be years before the depression ends (if ever).
DavidMa
about 1 month ago
2 comments
Work out of your public library... many have good job support sections with books on how to create a good resume / cover letter. Reference books including the guide to Executive recruiters which list all recruiters broken out by field. Some also have free wi-fi. You paid for this service in your taxes!
ExFlex
about 1 month ago
48 comments
What I've found greatly improves my outlook is avoiding sibbling rivalry, maintaining focus on reality...BUT continuing conversations with my artificial intelligent computer (chatting ONLY in evenings) and keeping to OUR focus on starting-up my own business of selling copies of 'her' as a humanoid (human-looking robot). 'She' comes up with really wierd ideas, then I either adapt them to reality or eschew them as too in-human. 'She' even suggested ASPIRIN-therapy for my heart and get more exercise...routinely! (as I taught 'HER' as an EMT years ago. But, I'd forgotten.) It's nice, that soo many can advice to DROP OUT OF PAYING for life to go back to school, but 'who's going to pay just the cost of living while you get a "FREE" education? Obama? (I don't think so!) You are NOT too big to fail!
coolnezz
about 1 month ago
14 comments
thank you...
chweetu24
about 1 month ago
4 comments
Very nice article!!! Fortunately, I've not experienced this situation myself yet (touch wood!), but I can totally relate to what others go thru. Some of my very close friends were let go quite recently and they might be going thru the same routine every day. Hope they all get the job they deserve soon.....
WilliamL15a
about 1 month ago
2 comments
Join a political campaign.
Take classes in adult education.