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How to Argue in IT

On-the-job arguments can get intense in the IT world, but knowing how to handle them properly can be the key to efficiency and career advancement. Here are a few constructive strategies…

Don’t insult someone’s intelligence (or assume that people are insulting yours).

Geeks grow up being protective of intelligence — often it’s the main thing that we have when we’re growing up, so it takes on an out-sized importance. That’s OK, but it makes for lots more arguments than we need later in life. If you’re always worried about protecting your image of intelligence, any discussion where people review facts that you already know will seem vaguely insulting.

Don’t take it that way.

I’ll say that again: Don’t take it that way. Reviewing some basic facts can help get a discussion going, and it doesn’t mean anything about the intelligence of the people involved. In fact, you probably do it yourself. So don’t worry so much about the level at which people are targeting an argument. Don’t take it personally.

At the same time, you have to walk a fine line when you’re explaining things to people outside of IT. If you find you’re talking over their head, don’t overcompensate and start talking down to them.

Watch out for the unknown unknowns.

Here’s another consequence of being protective about intelligence: It’s easy for you to claim that you know more than you do. Don’t fall into that trap either. It’s OK not to know things, and if you can be honest with yourself and others about what you don’t know, you’ll learn much faster.

See it from their perspective.

A little empathy can go a long way towards resolving a discussion. Too often, we get caught up in winning an argument instead of solving a problem. And in a work environment, it’s far more important to find a solution that makes it easy for both sides to move forward than to win a debate that massages your ego a bit. If you look towards compromise from the beginning, that result becomes much more likely.

Pick your battles. (Just don’t pick all the battles.

Know when to let things go. Sure, your client may be asking for a requirement that you KNOW they won’t need three weeks down the road, but if it’s something you can build in a couple hours, you’re probably better off just building it than you would be spending three hours of meetings convincing them of that fact.

Lots of us in the tech industry love to debate things. That’s OK — great, even — but it’s important that we’re always arguing for a reason. Make sure you have a good one before you get into your next argument.

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